I'm not overly fond of acronyms but then who is. You know the sort of thing, "We must pick up on the TTFL or the PWP will wonder what's happened to their DDN or worse still their CBF. Everyone clear on that?" Actually they're not so bad as long as we know what they mean. So I'm going for a Christmas acronym - MERRY - for a Stand Up and Deliver's Chrimbo message - which I hope will reflect the various definitions of Merry - namely being " festive, fun, entertaining and brisk!"

So M for is the Merry definition - done that (see above)

E is for Enlist the help of your guests. People love helping so don't kill yourself cooking your goose. Get everyone else to do it for you! But give them loads of food and wine and make the whole experience Merry (see above).

R is for Rustle up.Try and give your guests the impression that the whole meal has been "rustled up" in a moment of inspiration that morning. As with presenting (sorry thought I'd crowbar that one in), no one really cares how hard you've worked - plus if you look stressed and exhausted then they'll feel guilty (although of course this may not be a bad thing).

R is for Rinse.For the purposes of this acronym I'd like to divide the world up into the personality types of "rinsers and non rinsers." I'm a non rinser but we non rinsers need to be aware that there are a lot of people out there who need to rinse! So let them. And likewise the other way round. So peace and goodwill to all rinsers - and no fights on Christmas day - at least until after the Queen's speech.

Y is for Yarn. Don't leave all the best stories to Grandad - share a few of your own. As long as they are the living breathing definition of Merry (see above).

And finally I'll explain why I've inserted a picture of Private Doberman from, "Seargant Bilko." For our family this year's biggest event was the birth of baby Kester. Now rather than wilfully sentimentalise this e-letter with a picture of Kester (plus he has no say in the matter) I've enclosed one of his newborn look-alike (I should add that Kester's looks have improved significantly).

So Merry Christmas one and all and I look forward to catching up with you in 2012!

Jack Milner